The more i research it the more im loosing faith that any man out there is actually decent.

Someone proove me wrong now! haha

Again sleeping has become something to fear again. Horrible dreams. The fear to sleep is probably one of the worst you could have.

I dont think it helps iv had lots of thoughts about Sean. Its been nearly a year and a half. and i still bloody cry. WTF is wrong with me. Im so angry with myself for not getting over him.

What he did at new years has just fucked me up.

Any man that approaches me now i ignore. Any guy who asks me out i say no. I havnt even looked at a guy in almost 6 months. Its almost as if i have a fear of sex. Or comitment. Or men? i dont know what it is. Just trying to trust again i suppose.

Its the first time in my life iv been surrounded by friends who are girls. Iv always been the tom boy, who never gets on with girls. I feel like iv changed.